I'm reading Norwegian Wood

Warning: This post is about me and it's going to be boring esp. if you are not a close friend.


Certain things are confusing me:

1. I am reading a book lent by a pretty 'guyish' guy. I noticed that as much as I thought I have been reading books by male authors or being in a male-dominated industry most of the time, I really did not know men as much as I thought I did. So this book is about a teenage Japanese guy. (I'm a lil tired and lazy and summarize now but maybe in the following post I would.) The book not as interesting as I thought it would be, did made me think. And I wonder why would a pretty 'guyish' guy, well at least i thought he was, read something so erm.. hmm.. kinda sentimental? (I can't find any better words than sentimental now. My brain is just too exhasuted. )

2. I have always have had a pre-conception about men. They are jerks and they sleep around. Although my previous relationship tells me its not true but eventually, I am still not convinced about it. But come to think of it, men are as vulnerable as women. This guy in the book felt horrible about sleeping around but he just couldn't help it. He was lost because someone left (its more than that) but still. And his friend who is supposedly cute, smart, affluent etc has slept with over 100 girls.. kinda like a routine thing. To me, these people are just lost. They really do not know what to look for in life. Hence, they give in to their body's desire rather than that of their soul... ok I'm stepping a lil too deep here. But if you don't get me just forget it.

3. Men just react differently to situations and stress differently from women. And this don't mean they are jerks. Though I still am not convinced.

4. I think way too much. As much as I want to take things lightly, I think it really is not that easy. Maybe, I won't be in any relationship still unless someone push me into it? Perhaps I just think a little more than an average girl would at my age. It's pretty offensive when i heard this comment but some Singtel guy once said, "You'll make a good wife". What the?!!!! I make a fun companion mind you!!

5. I was dreadful to leave Singapore to UPenn for various reasons. One of it, I have met so many amazing people just a few months when I was about to leave. I believe this would be one reason why I am relieved not to leave to UPenn anymore. I am opening my eyes and I see so many more things. The same internship I was at last year seems so different this year. I can't really tell you why or how but perhaps I grew a whole lot within the span of this one year. I see people and things not from first impressions or appearance anymore. As in, rather than labelling anyone as cool, normal or weird, strange or good, bad... there really is no such labelling anymore. Someone kept mentioning this term called "social retard". I just don't get why would anyone want to degrade himself like that. Do not let anyone let you down just because you think they think you are different. I don't know. I think I am a much nicer person now, I take more risks, and I am more open to anyone and anything.

6. The book and this same person who came up with the "social retard" term made me realise one other thing. You would have learnt this in any Psychology or Management course but maybe it just did not cross your mind - Everyone thinks that they are unique from each other. Here's one excerpt from the book,

"I read a lot, but not a lot of different books: I like to read my favourites again and again. But then it was truman Capote, John Updike, F. Scott fitzgerald, Raymond Chandler, but I didn't see anyone else in my lectures or the dorm reading something like that....which was another reason why I didn't have much to say to anybody but kept to myself and my books." Then he met someone else who had the same 'taste' as him. This guy with super different personality, aflluent societal standing, good-looking, rich, smart.. etc.. "That's why I read them. If you only read the books that everyone else is reasing, you can only think what everyone else is thinking. That's the world of hicks and slobs. Real people should be ashamed of themselves doing that. Haven't you notice Watanabe? You and I are the only real ones in this dorm. The other guys are crap."

This did not stun me but it just reminded me of the same guy who came up with that term I mentioned above. Everyone for some reasons at some circumstances and time just think they are unique and they are above everyone else. I felt so about myself too. I always thought I was born to do something great. And I still believe in it. There is nothing wrong in this. But all I am trying to say here is that, because we are all so different, we are all actually very alike.